I
day-dreamt a lot as a child, of places far and beyond. So I jumped on an
opportunity to pack my bags, even so young. Met faces of all sorts, but
somewhat different on one bright starry Dunner’s night. A spirited face, from a
distant place, spoke to me about amazingly beautiful things the world could
show, as books encompassed his world.
And
so I studied and worked with remedies, so I could see the world too- we reached
a place where no one spoke our common tongue. Again, a voice spoke to me and
said that I could do anything, and so I did - I read, wrote, volunteered and
even studied photography, to come to realise, I needed to give back somehow.
There in, I started teaching kids and adults alike to speak English.
Today,
I don’t daydream that much anymore, of things far and beyond - that voice just
reminds me to look around and thank my lucky stars
I left Lucas at playschool today, 1.8 months. Everything he is today I believe is a product of a 15- year romance between my husband and I. Just yesterday, we were reminiscing about when we first met and I'm so glad I took a chance in love and I pushed for what I wanted for my life. It just felt right. You just know - now I have 3 boys, I live in Chile and speak Spanish. Oh, and my elder son is teaching me French !
LUCAS LUCAS LUCAS....how I have enjoyed you!
Vivacious, carefree, lovable and an edible bundle of happiness. You'll probably find him stuffing his face with some cookies on top of a table somewhere in my apartment or more recently, playing in his brother's tent which he has claimed to be his own with his tiny delicious feet dangling out. He loves music and will bask in happiness while giving out a laugh or two while getting lost in his favorite songs. He loves to play hide and seek and will squeak in cheekiness when you find him. He loves chocolate and the last time I found him, left me giddy with laughter. Let me tell you. I found him, in a drawer, munching on the biggest chocolate bar EVER, you know, the the kind we use for baking that has quadrants to break off. Then the other day, my husband found him surrounded with my shoes- a show of messiness around him and of course he was smiling so proudly. Of course he has a favorite toy, a little Thomas train. He carries it around and will only drop it in exchange for chocolate. I love how I see traces of him around our home. A pillow or two thrown here and there, crumbs on the chair. One day they will be gone. One day I'll yearn for them.
He doesn't talk yet, and calls me,' Ma-ma' very rarely, but 'Ti-yea' will do just fine for now. I know he means, me.
The kind of love he showers upon me is indescribable. He hunts me down desperately and prefers to lay upon me. His kisses feel like little daggers and his grabbing and his constant hovering shows me, he loves me. Don't you love it when someone hugs you tightly? The kind that could suffocate you, but when it's a tiny person? It's unconditional love. It must be. The way no words can ever express. I love the way he hugs me.
Lucas, you are the part of me, I wish I were. Carefree, strong-willed and joyous in every way. You are easy to have around and I think it's safe to say- life will treat you as such, as well.
Two kids later - time has literally passed me by. So I keep reading that I need to make days matter and that is my aim this year. Mostly to ensure I do a few things for myself. They say write down your goals, so I'm doing it and hopefully it'll reap some benefits. I hope to come back to this post and give myself a pat on the back. Let's see how things pan out!
1. Exercise more - at least twice a week
2. Cook more Malaysian food
3. Call people to catch up
4. Meet-up with friends
5. Travel with my kids
6. Get a new job
7 Try not to complain ... OK that is wishful thinking ...I'll try to complain less
8. Eliminate some words from my vocabulary - like "always" that annoy certain people that matter.
9. Pray everyday
10. Travel with my husband
11. Read everyday, read to my kids
12. Bake
13. Say how I feel in the best possible way
14. Do something nice for someone everyday
15. Make at least 2 more photo albums this year, hopefully one of Lucas
16. Write letters to my kids
17. Call people on their birthdays.
18. Say no
19. More date nights.
20. Teach Lucas to brush his teeth
21. Teach my kids to pray
I think making time for oneself is important. I think it´s often too easy to say there´s no time. I think about it and how easy it is to while away time and how easy it is to make time when there's no time.
I realized that making time is really the key to my happiness these days.
So these are the 5 things I try to make time for everyday.
1. To wake up around 30 mins earlier than my son. This give me time for a nice relaxing shower and to look and feel great for the day.
2. To sit down and have a decent lunch. I wait until I have the time to do this. I love to enjoy mine, since I'm an extremely slow eater while my son naps.
3. Since I'm mildly OC ( I'm sure Luis will beg to differ and will decribe me slightly higher up that scale of OC'ness), I find sparing at least 30 min a day for organization keeps my head clear. A lot better than me going around and saying "oh no, oh no, this is driving me nuts"
4. I'll make time for a cuppa and a slice of somesort. For me my guilty pleasure has always been a piece of cake, or lately not sure why TWIX. Marsha, chocolate? Seriously. Never used to. Anyways, I've lately been enjoying my Chai Tea with spicy spices.
5. To connect with a friend, read or write. This one is so important especially when I contact or drop a note to a friend, as God only knows what great friends I have in my life and so making an effort is a priority for me these days. Again I say, love the people that really love you.
" Time is very slow for those who wait, very fast for those who are scared, very long for those who lament, very short for those who celebrate
Unsettling things are happening in Malaysia, my birthplace. From corruption to violation. Just last week, a maid kills 2 young children under her trusted care, made headlines. Any crime, you name it. Not shocking, Kuala Lumpur makes it high on the list of the most dangerous cities to live in. Am I fortunate to be living away? thoughts like this cross my mind,
thoughts I thought I'll never have to entertain.
These matters, never hit me as profoundly as it does today, having a little one to care for, it's unthinkable to fathom all the fear, it's really sad
just those chills you never ever want to feel, eats at me
I feel it to the bone and I'm miles away.
At this time and age, being a mom is a whole different ball game.
Really hoping things settle. I recall the stories of my father, of how they played after school, dragging along their toys made of cans, carefree...gone are those days.
How would life be for my precious little LA?
On a different note, I had a Malaysian friend leave Chile and head back to Malaysia, so I'm once again blessed with another remarkable friendship that I'll forever treasure plus I have spices, ingredients and more - flavors and prices one can only savor in Malaysia.
When melancholy kicks in, I try new recipes. As a couple, before LA, recalling our life in Australia, Luis and I would pick a recipe and we would get all excited in the process of getting the ingredients, just to try a new recipe a week - it used to be our thing and still is when time allows it. I really treasure these precious times, music in the background, his tender soft kisses, the sips of wine and his engaging smiles. These days come, but not too often juggling a child, how I treasure them. Parents alike will concur, I'm sure.
On the bright side, it makes me really appreciate my relationship at a different level.
The kind you can only feel when you have a child.
Getting back to the recipes..
Luis has been a lot better and has tried out a couple of recipes from our Jamie Oliver's recipe book-Jamie's Italy. He tried the aubergine and tomatoes a Sicilian recipe.
During our memorable year in Sydney, we tried out a couple of Chilean recipes. I thought of doing the exact same thing - you know, to really try out the dishes from my own roots. So thanks to rasamalaysia.com, I've tried out her stringy french beans and her black bean fish recipe.
Luis said, " These flavours are only in Malaysia".
I felt the same, it's nice to be able to get most of the ingredients here,
but mom does stock me up when I need.
The dried prawns certainly was the key!
Of course I have to forward gratitude to having the time to cook. So...
Thanks to my gorgeous boy who found the sugar bag
and flour mixing bowl the coolest thing in the kitchen!
Luis Andrés, mom thinks you're just the best!
Between Luis and I, when we touch down in Malaysia next, we're gonna eat, eat and eat!
What's your top ten dishes in Malaysia? Luis has a mental list and so do I
The year has really started off so nicely! Although it was rather tough trying to settle in and adjust to routine after such an amazing holiday - what a dream come true , a whole month with my family in NZ! It was just pure joy to see my parents and my gorgeous LA bond, to attend my sister´s wedding, meet my oh- so- cool new brother -in- law and see my varsity and high school mates after a good 8 years! Oh, it was all too much of a good thing.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord. What would life be without you?
We touched down in Santiago on the 4th of Jan 2014- horribly jet- lagged but feeling so blessed, it was so nice to be back home too, back to our lovely refuge.
So all this has made me stop and conclude that -
I´m done looking back and then feeling grateful.
I'm hoping to cherish this year, my life, my good good life.
The question is, how can I seize each day and what can I already be so grateful about?
(Thinking cap on )
1. Make my son laugh and just enjoy him - I really haven't laughed so much in my life, so I attempt to make him as happy as he makes me. What could be more of a blessing than children?
2. To continue to clear out my closet and give things away! My "OC'ness" is really helping in this area.
3. To cherish my Luis. This man, where do I start? I'm just blessed. Such a beautiful person inside out. 11 years...it's been 11 years and I'm still smitten.
4. I love my home. It's just a great representation of us. I also enjoy our daydream talks of our future home.
5. To know an unimaginable dimension of love that my son has given me.
6. For such amazing friends! I smile at this and it makes me so content because I really do have such friends that would do anything for me. "Really love people that love you"
7. For my new career path that I'm embarking on. Such excitement.
8. For being in Chile now - who knew that I'll never ever ever wanna move again because this is just perfect! Now travel is a different story - I'm always thirsty for more.
9. For the ability to eat and eat and not put on weight ( at least for now) oh, how I enjoy my food! Credit goes to my Pilates teacher though. (Luis keeps mentioning he needs to send him a gift ! ha )
10. To spend more time with God.
11. To not whinge.
12. To not be too OC even though it brings such joy to see my home spotless.
13. My family is scattered, miles away, but I do not miss them in a painful kinda way because of such technology. Oh, how things have change - I remember speaking to mom only once a week in highschool! Look how lucky we are now? it's basically constant! Makes me so grateful.
14. My son's loving nature. His cuddles, his kisses and the smiles he gives me.
I live for moments like that.
(Son, you are so like Daddy in this way)
15. For a husband that prays.
16. For a son that is kinda OC too !
.....and the list goes on...my hope is that I'll make time to continue this list!
LA with Aunty Ness ( @ Aunty Dance) & Uncle Alex ( @ leg slightly raised)
The brackets represent how LA remembers them, a bit of family humor here
Us at my 33rd birthday - at one of our favourite restaurants called HANZO in Santiago.
Thanks for always making me feel special, my handsome Luis.
My Parents enjoying LA during their 37th wedding Anniversary.
